No limit to grief

It's been over three and half years since I last saw my dad, after he lost his battle against lung cancer.  I miss him just as much today as I did those first few weeks after his death.  Its particularly painful when I am stressed, I forget that he isn't around anymore to talk to, I actually forget that he's dead.  Losing such a close family member is such a tremendously hard and life-changing experience that sadly all of us will go through during our lifetime.  My dad was relatively young when he died, (six months short of his 60th birthday), it seems unfair that he didn't get to live out and enjoy his retirement years with my mum. 

This past weekend and week have been painful reminders of how bereavement effects those left behind.   I visited my grandma, who will be 90 next year.  She misses my father so much, due to the early death of my grandfather, my dad helped bring up his younger sisters.  He was a key part of her life that's missing now, there's not a simple fix that exists to fill that gap.

Another friend has lost her father this week, I struggled to at first find words of comfort, my own father's death seemed so raw, that I didn't want to impose my own feelings of grief with hers.  It didn't seem right that I have had three years to deal with it while she is suffering now.   It made me realise that no matter the length of time, it doesn't determine how long you will grieve, anyone who tells you different - ignore them.

Sorry for such a downbeat post, sometimes writing down words than expressing them is somehow easier.